


Blood, sweat and Stairs

by patience_for_delia



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, Vanity Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 20:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16249367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patience_for_delia/pseuds/patience_for_delia
Summary: Vanessa tries to change a light bulb. Written for the first day of Vanity Fest.





	Blood, sweat and Stairs

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever. I wouldn’t have written (and posted) it if it wasn’t for Vanity Fest and the deadline that comes with it. This was written for the first day and I’m already two days late. But better late than never right.  
> I’m not a native English speaker and this isn’t betad so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. I should probably stop typing now because I always forget what the notes said the notes after reading 3 sentences.

“Why is it so dark in here?” Vanessa squinted trying to spot Charity in a rather dark living room while carrying Johnny.

“Hiya Johnnybobs.” Charity smiled upon seeing the little boy.

“Hi Chatty.” Johnny replied smiling back at her.

“It’s just one broken light, you don’t need to pretend like your entering a coal mine. ” Charity rolled her eyes.

“Why didn’t you turn on any off the other lights?” Vanessa asked confused.

“We were comfortable.” Charity gestured at herself on the couch, with a blanked draped over her and Moses. They were watching Paw Patrol while they were cuddling  
“And besides I knew you two were coming over, my little rays of sunshine.” She added in her confession voice.

“Smooth.” Vanessa nodded. Vanessa switched on another light.

“My smooth talking is one of the many many reasons you love me.” Charity said smugly.

“Can’t argue with that.” Vanessa said while lifting Johnny on the couch next to Moses and taking off his coat. She stroked Moses’ hair and walked over to Charity to give her a peck on the lips.

“How come you didn’t just change the light bulb?” Vanessa asked while taking of her own coat.

“I’m waiting for Paddy to fix it.”

“Oh, you asked him to fix it. When is he coming over then?”

“Of course I haven’t asked him.” Charity said like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Okay, now you’ve lost me.” Vanessa said frowning.

“Thank God you pretty?”

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment.”

“I would never insult you.” Charity said dramatically.

“Throwing away my lasagne was pretty insulting.” Vanessa retorted.

“I thought we were past that, I spend hours trying to make it up to you.” 

“Asking Marlon to make lasagne and pretending you made it doesn’t take hours.” 

“I almost got away with it but he just couldn’t keep his gob shut.”

“Next time you want to take credit for someone else’s work get your stories straight.”

“Hold on, how did we get from changing a broken lamp to lasagne.” Charity said trying to steer the conversation away from the lasagne incident.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you are trying to change the subject but I’ll let you off the hook this once. If you tell me why you didn’t just change the light bulb yourself?”

“It’s so much work.” Charity sighted.

“It literally takes 5 minutes Charity.”

“Well than that’s five minutes to long.”

Vanessa huffed. “Do you have any spare light bulbs?” 

“I don’t know. Why?” 

“So I can change the light bulb.” 

“You?” Charity asked amused.

“Yes me, what do you think I can’t change a light bulb?” 

“Well for starters the lamp is all the way up there.” Charity pointed towards the light. “And you’re as tall as a mustard seed.”

“Ever heard of steps or ladders Charity.” Vanessa rolled her eyes.

“Of course babe but a mustard seed on a ladder is still tiny.”

Vanessa stuck out her tongue. “Very funny. I’m gone fetch Moses’ step stool.”

“ Wait, the bathroom step, that has little frogs all over it?” 

“Yes, that one. Why are you asking?” Vanessa asked confused.

“Well that’s not Moses’ step, it’s yours I put it there for you.” Charity burst out laughing. 

“Your quite the comedian aren’t you.” Vanessa rolled her eyes and went to fetch the step.  
When she returned she put it in front of the light, stepped on it and tried to reach the bulb. 

“Still a mustard seed.” Charity said amused because Vanessa couldn’t reach it.

“I love how your always so helpful.” Vanessa retorted sarcastically.

“Babe I would definitely help you if this wasn’t so amusing.” Charity laughed.

Vanessa gave a frustrating smile. “I’ll just grab a chair, it might be high enough.”

“Babe I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it won’t be.”

“I’m gonna give it a shot, it may save me some time searching for a step ladder.”

“Go ahead then.”

Vanessa put the stool underneath the lamp and stood on it but she was still way to short.

Charity burst out laughing. “I told you so.” She nudged the boys and pointed at Vanessa. They abandoned the tv in favour of watching Vanessa changing the light bulb.

“Just tell me where the stepladder is?”

“It’s in the cellar.” Charity responded still laughing her head of.

“I’ll go and get it and you can make yourself useful and put this back.” Vanessa said while handing Charity the bathroom step. In response she got a pout but Charity obligated anyway.

On her way back to the living room Vanessa walked into Chas.

“What are you doing with that.” Chas said pointing at the ladder. “ You know what don’t answer that I probably don’t want to know, knowing Charity.” 

“I’m just changing a light bulb. Charity wanted to wait until Paddy came back but it’s so quickly done I thought I could do it myself.”

“It’s probably for the best, Paddy isn’t that handy.”

“Now if come to think of it, that’s very true.” Vanessa said frowning.

“Well good luck with it.”

“Thanks Chas.” 

Vanessa resumed her quest . When she entered the living room she saw Noah had joined Charity and the boys and was laughing as well. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Mum was just telling me about your light-bulb-change adventure.”

“Glad your enjoying yourselves making fun of me.” Vanessa said sarcastically.

Vanessa unfolded the step ladder and climbed it. But she still inches away from reaching the bulb.

Her audience burst out laughing.

“Oh come on.” Vanessa shouted while throwing her arms in the air.

“There is a ladder in the cellar as well.” Charity said while suppressing a laugh.

Vanessa huffed, folded the stepladder and went back to the cellar. On her way down she bumped into Chas again.

“Is it shining again?”

“No it isn’t but at least Charity and the kids are having a great time laughing at me.”

“Oh don’t sweat it. That’s just typical Charity behaviour. But I can imagine you already figured that out.”

“I did.” Vanessa nodded. 

Once again Vanessa returned to the living room and she put the ladder underneath the lamp, she climbed it and reached for the light. Finally she was able to reach it.

“Hah! The mustard seed can reach the light.” She said triumphantly. 

“Can someone switch off the light please?”

“Sure.” Noah said.

“Yeah we don’t want Ness to get electrocuted. All the kids would be traumatised if snow white would be missing a dwarf.”

“That makes you the evil queen then I guess.”

“We all know I’m snow white, right kids?”

“Yeah.” The boys shouted in unison.

“You singing in the woods with a bunch of animals. Nah I’m with Vanessa on this one.”

“Thanks lad.”

“Living with you boys and Paddy comes pretty close to living with a bunch of animals.”

Noah stuck out his tongue.

“Let me light up these dark woods then.” Vanessa said, she reached for the light bulb and turned it, first left then right…

“What on earth!” She shouted.

“What’s wrong babe?” Charity asked confused.

“It’s stuck! How can I be stuck?” 

“I don’t know, you are the handywoman of this house.” Charity responded

Vanessa pulled a face at her. “Do you have safety glasses and pliers somewhere around here?”

“I have sunglasses and a fork.”Charity shrugged.

Noah snorted.

“I’ll go home and grab mine.” Vanessa sighted. 

While Vanessa went home Paddy came in the living room.  
“What’s going on in here?” He asked when he spotted the ladder.

“Vanessa is changing the light bulb but apparently it’s stuck.” Charity said.

“Oh I know a trick to that.” He grabbed a pair of rubber dish washing gloves from the sink, put them on and climbed the ladder. 

“Oh Paddy I don’t think she’ll appreciate it if you fix it, she’s put a lot of work into it to even reach the thing.”

“Nonsense, she’ll be grateful if I give her a hand I know Vanessa.”

“I do to that’s why I’m warning you.” Charity muttered.

Paddy got the light bulb out of the socket using the extra grip the gloves provided. 

“Where is the new light bulb?” He asked while descending the ladder.

“I don’t know, you live here to.” Charity answered.

After a quick search Paddy found the bulb and put it back in the socket. He descended the ladder again and turned on the light. 

The boys cheered and right on that moment Vanessa walked in carrying the safety glasses and the pliers.

“Seriously. Who fixed the light!?”

“I told you she would be mad.” Charity told Paddy.

Paddy started blushing and slowly raised his hand.

“Well thanks a lot Paddy.” Vanessa spat sarcastically.

“You’re welco...” Paddy started enthusiastically until he noticed Vanessa’s face. “I’m sorry.” He added quickly.

“I guess I’ll put the ladder away.” Vanessa pouted.

“No, I’ll do it, I used it as well so…” Paddy stammered and he grabbed the ladder and went to put it away.

“Aw, babe I’m sure you could have managed.” Charity said and she gave Vanessa a hug.  
“Stop mocking me.” Vanessa said sadly.

“I’m not, I know you could have fixed it. You wanne know why?” Charity said smiling.

“Because I’m amazing?” Vanessa asked still a little disappointed.

“Because good things come in small packages.”

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End file.
